Homeward Bound

Today it's been a week exactly since I came back. There was a time when I thought that I really wanted to be here, really wanted to practice here for a bit. Today I really don't know I am lost in space in time !!!

Everytime I watch something remotely related to India I want to go back, that moment. I think it's more to do with the people there, maybe it's to do with my own mentality which is weird. When I am there I want to be here and when I am here then nothing looks prettier than home.

I can't explain how difficult it is to be away from home, I have honestly had enough I am sick of the fact of leaving home i am simply fed up , time after time after time I go through this emotional turmoil. Maybe it's better not to go back, or just go back once and for all. You go back and the whole thing just happens again. I am sure anyone who has studied away from home would be able to understand what I mean.

In anycase I guess I just needed to say it to someone and it's America so what better than a computer to say it to.!!!!!!

Rain

Boston , it's a great city only that I don't think it is. So I am sitting and it's 8:30 in the morning , I woke up at 6:15 still jetlagged. Stress to which I woke up was how am I ever going to graduate on time. I have no patients there are no appointments and then I was told to chill I was told that there was still 9 months to go so just relax and take it easy everything will happen in due course.

Now I am sitting and drinking a cup of coffee watching the news. I have an hours work , I'll do it later in the day. One class to attend which will be stupid. So what else is there but to just sit and write, It's raining outside like really raining hard ( maybe it's another torrential storm i'm waiting for CNN to name it) and I felt like there is so much more to the world than just a patient here and a patient there. Something more to it something more intense to it.

Emotions where do they arise from , in all these years I have sat and studied Med. and more Med i don't think that till today i have ever realised where and when and how to emotions work. You go from being completely stressed out to being completely chill in a matter of moments. Just a couple of words that some one says ease ur mind completely and totally and then u are just fine like you were never stressed. Then someone calls you and makes you smile and ur day is made.

This is the greatest thing about life , man being the social animal has only made his life easier. Monkeys when they are supposedly in high levels' of electrical activity of the brain are suppose to ease there mind by spending time removing stuff from each other it is suppose to reduce the electrical activity of the brain. Now when it comes to humans what's diffirent they want to talk to each other and make themselves relax.

Anyway I guess i am just talking now for no reason so i'll go !!!

Back in Boston

So I am back in boston, I can't lie to you I am not the happiest person in the world at this moment ! Jetlagged , Missing home and most importantly missing her !!


So it's hard not just a little hard but I know it's the thing I want I have met my angel , the one who has chaged the way I look at things and that's all I wanted to say !!!

I removed the picture but the blog can remain ;)

Delhi

It's been a really long time since I wrote but something today told me I should write. It's been two weeks since I got home and it's almost time to go back. Just the thought of going back to boston isn't very nice. But I should be honest it's cause of this one person !!

Coming back to it, so I have to get back and do allot of work and it's scaring me big time. Just the thought of the various requirement's the loads of paper work and the basic stress of school.

It's really not the first time I am leaving home, I spent four years in Manipal never felt this sad to go back. It's just that this time it feels like the first time I am really going to miss something with a passion the whole thought of being away is driving me mad.

Anahat if you do want to comment call me .. there is no need for you to write it on this and this goes for u too aman .. !!!